If the outside world has started looking strange to you, don’t worry. We’re all just adjusting to seeing some color other than white on the ground. I think I’ve forgotten what earth looks like without a blanket of snow.
As we exit another Ice Age, relics are starting to appear from under all the melting snow. Every year, the piles of once pristine precipitation turn into disgusting, solid masses of blackened detritus, sealing inside them all the crap that’s usually around and goes unnoticed. We recently relocated a recycling bin. There was a lone shoe outside Razzo. Red Solo cups are also appearing, and thanks to so many snows on trash nights, there’s plenty of garbage hidden as well.
Trash is pretty much the modern equivalent of fossils. When the human race finally exhausts all of the natural resources and we’ve doomed ourselves to Mother Nature’s vengeful destructive wrath, that’ll be our time capsule – the beer cans, pizza boxes, and annoying weekly coupon fliers that no one signs up for in the first place. Future civilizations will pick them up and laugh at the irony.