I logged onto Facebook the other night to check all of that important social crap that I missed while actually out doing things with my life. (Hey, it’s important to keep up with what everyone else is doing, right? Right.) The all-knowing social networking site informed me that 8 of my friends were attending an event called “SPREE DAY.” Oh, thanks, Facebook. That event was really suffering from lack of publicity. No one knew when it was going to be, and historically it was certainly never meant to be a secret.
Hell, why even have an actual event? It can all be mediated through Facebook. We’ll all sit in our dorms taking virtual shots in front of the screen when we’re told. We’ll know exactly when everyone else is doing the same thing.
You’ll get text alerts whenever someone throws up in the UC, and thanks to streaming video, you don’t even need to be anywhere near The Green to see who’s playing there at 9 a.m. when the stage opens to a bunch of webcams.
Facebook’s check-ins app. will also allow you to know what everyone’s avatar is up to. Whether they’re passing out in front of the virtual JC or eating crappy food in the virtual caf, you’ll be up to speed. Thanks, internet for making sure we all know when, where, and how to socialize. What would we do without you?